Today is my dad's birthday and today he would have turned 69. This year marks the third holiday season without him with us. He was diagnosed with an inoperable rain tumor, glioblastoma, in January 2014. Glioblastoma, a very fast growing brain tumor, accounts for about 15% of all brain tumors and is terminal. Average survival rates are very short, at under 15 months with treatment. Five year survival rates are essentially non-existent.
He had a great team of doctors and responded very well to initial treatments. Unfortunately there are no cures and no treatments that prolong life beyond a few years. How long one survives depends on how well one responds to the first set of treatments. Treatment, typically a combination of chemotherapy and radiation, is not easy and can leave you very sick and tired. My dad never complained, at least not openly. He always came across to me as living each day positively and not worrying about the end. If he had worries, he never shared those. I hope, that if I am ever faced with a similar diagnosis, I handle it as well as he did.
My dad responded very well to treatments and survived for 3.5 years, finally losing his battle with cancer in June 2017. The quality of life was strong for the first three years, tailing off in the last few months, as always happens with this type of cancer. Glioblastoma steals away your cognitive and physical abilities. It requires 24 hour around the clock care at the end. Fortunately we had the means to place my dad in a home for the last couple of months, but many families don't have this option. In addition, many people with glioblastoma do not want to die the way this cancer forces you to die. They would rather die on their own terms before their quality of life drops dramatically.
I won't get into too many details here, but a few states offer "death with dignity" options that allow you to take medication to allow you to die painlessly on your own terms. You cannot just walk up to a pharmacy and pick up these medications. There are many, many safeguards in place and you have to pass a series of standards before you qualify. Unfortunately most states, including Iowa where my dad lived, do not offer this. The reason? Too often it comes down to religion and "this is how God chose you to die". Sorry, I don't buy that. It was once rare for humans to live past 30, but that didn't stop us from finding cures for common ailments that used to kill us. We didn't say that God chose us to die at 30 and call it good. The same rationale should apply to end of life in terminal cases. We treat our family pets at the end of their lives far better than we treat our fellow human beings.
If you don't know about death with dignity or have heard others denounce it, please, please, please, do a bit of research. One of the best documentaries I have ever watched, How to Die in Oregon, makes it clear that death with dignity is not a way for someone to just kill themselves on a whim. You can watch the documentary on Netflix. Death with dignity requires multiple doctors agreeing that the health problem is terminal and death, without the possibility of recovery, is a few months away.
Would my dad have chosen to die by taking medications? I don't know. Many people who have the option do not choose to take it. Some go as far as getting the medication but choose not to take it. The point is they had a choice. My dad did not. Currently, where I live, I do not. As of this writing, only Oregon, Washington, Colorado, California, DC, Hawaii, Maine, New Jersey, and Vermont have death with dignity laws in place. Death with dignity is not the easy way out. I argue it's even a harder decision to choose to take the medication. Would I choose it if in a similar situation? I don't know. But I want the option.
Happy Birthday Dad! I hope I am as strong as you when my time comes.
No comments:
Post a Comment